Have a "YES" Day
Every parent I know of looks forward to the day their child says their first word. They get excited when they hear "mama" and "dada" and offer an abundance of praise until......drum roll.....their child says their first "no!".
Because a child's language acquisition is directly impacted by the words repeated frequently by those around him, it is more than likely that their tendency to respond "no" to parents comes from hearing "no" from their parents. Thus, a good reason to create a "yes" day.
"Yes" days are a commitment to refrain from the word "no" and instead say "yes" to battles that, when further examined, are relatively minor, and not worth the stress of fighting. Some examples may be:
Child: "Mom, can I make my peanut butter and jelly sandwich by myself today?" (You fear the mess that will probably be made, and you feel rushed to get lunch over and done with so you can get some things done during nap time.)
Mom: "I think that's a great idea for you to learn to make your sandwich by yourself. Come and help me get everything we need." (Remember that your child can also help with cleanup, and they will more than likely meet nap time content, happy and proud of themselves.)
For those battles where a "no" is required, give your child the reason for the "no" rather than just stating "no." Take this scenario for example:
Child: "Mom, can we play outside?" (You look outside and it is cloudy, windy and you notice some sprinkles indicating rainfall)
Mom: "It looks like it will rain today. Let's wait till tomorrow to see if there is better weather to play outside. Let's see what we can play inside."
If you are beginning to feel frustrated at the feeling that all you do is say "no" to your child, chances are your child is just as frustrated and is acting out in reaction to their frustration. Take a step back and consider having a "yes" day. Chances are, you will see a difference in yours and your child's demeanor for the better.
If you like what you have read here and want more information about services, or to schedule a parenting workshop for your group, contact Angelica.
Every parent I know of looks forward to the day their child says their first word. They get excited when they hear "mama" and "dada" and offer an abundance of praise until......drum roll.....their child says their first "no!".
Because a child's language acquisition is directly impacted by the words repeated frequently by those around him, it is more than likely that their tendency to respond "no" to parents comes from hearing "no" from their parents. Thus, a good reason to create a "yes" day.
"Yes" days are a commitment to refrain from the word "no" and instead say "yes" to battles that, when further examined, are relatively minor, and not worth the stress of fighting. Some examples may be:
- What a child chooses to wear on a certain day.
- What a child desires to eat for a snack or meal.
- How long a child wishes to play at the playground before having to leave.
- Attempting a new task to prove their growing independence.
Child: "Mom, can I make my peanut butter and jelly sandwich by myself today?" (You fear the mess that will probably be made, and you feel rushed to get lunch over and done with so you can get some things done during nap time.)
Mom: "I think that's a great idea for you to learn to make your sandwich by yourself. Come and help me get everything we need." (Remember that your child can also help with cleanup, and they will more than likely meet nap time content, happy and proud of themselves.)
For those battles where a "no" is required, give your child the reason for the "no" rather than just stating "no." Take this scenario for example:
Child: "Mom, can we play outside?" (You look outside and it is cloudy, windy and you notice some sprinkles indicating rainfall)
Mom: "It looks like it will rain today. Let's wait till tomorrow to see if there is better weather to play outside. Let's see what we can play inside."
If you are beginning to feel frustrated at the feeling that all you do is say "no" to your child, chances are your child is just as frustrated and is acting out in reaction to their frustration. Take a step back and consider having a "yes" day. Chances are, you will see a difference in yours and your child's demeanor for the better.
If you like what you have read here and want more information about services, or to schedule a parenting workshop for your group, contact Angelica.
